I Chose Right.

I thought I wouldn't be writing so much...but like I've already posted, sleep seems to stay far far away from me. Just got back from my first night back to med-serg clinical rotation at Christ Hospital. Had a great clinical night. So, I helped my clinical group with this very interesting patient, helped irrigate his NG tube, clean his stoma/changed his colostomy bag. For anybody reading this, if you don't know what the above means lol google it. Anyway, sad story with this patient. He is completely depressed, so depressed that he can't even perform ADL's (sorry that means he can't even do routine things like feeding himself of bathing himself) You, see he was diagnosed with Diabetes quite some time ago and all he really dedicated himself to was his job. Well his job layed him off and he got so depressed that he just stopped taking care of himself. He is 55 years old & he can't talk, he is on oxygen, he's suffered a stroke, he has a huge ulcer on his back connected to a drainage device, he has a catheter, and he has a colostomy and he has a tube inserted into his stomach for feeding.  :( It was horrible to see. But we all took care of him. Cleaned him up, changed his sheets, gave him his meds & at the end of it I reached for his hand and reassured him that we were going to be there tomorrow to take care of him. He squeezed my hand a gave me this look. like THANK YOU.  & that's why I want to do this, that's why I chose to take this direction because although so many people out there say to me "I can't clean shit for the rest of my life or oh man you have to deal with blood and vomit and blah blah blah." , I know that the truth is, I'm going to be touching peoples lives. I'm going to help people feel better and though I know I won't be able to save EVERYONE's life...I'm always going to have those moments, those patients that are going to make it worth while.

I had a good clinical night........something's still off.
so, I'm off. Good night bloggers.
-Dee