two thousand eleven in review.

This year has been quite the rollercoaster for me...it was just...for the lack of a better word...difficult. So im actually glad to see it go away lol. Can't believe we are already celebrating New Years..time has passed so darn fast. I once made a list, some time ago of things that I want to do, that I never did before.... before that year was over. Unfortunatley, I didn't open myself up enough to do those things. But surprisingly enough, in what has been probably the most overwhelming year I've had...I did some of those things on the list..and some things that weren't without even realizing it. & going through them in my head...I've done some pretty cool things this year. They might not seem like a big deal to any of you because they are actually so common.....but here is my year in review.





{got my first tatto which I love}

{experienced the operating room AND helped deliver a baby}



{went to DC to see all things history}



{went on a road trip with friends to Philly}

                                                                     

{went to Medieval Times-I really had never went there before lol}

{opened myself up to an amazing group of people-my nursing school buddies}



{made my first Christmas Eve dinner}





Now, like I said some of these things might seem -blah- but they were all important to me throughout this year. It reminds me that even in a time where everything seemed to go wrong, I still had some fun, exciting moments. I'm excited for the new year. 2012 will be the beginning of the rest of my life as a nurse. It will be the start of a new life. It will be exciting and scary, and fun and full of love. 2012 will be great. Happy New Year everyone!!

my first noche buena dinner

So my Christmas dinner was a success...food came out really good. on the menu was roasted chicken with a wasakaka sauce (like a mojo sauce but Dominican style) made from scratch, green salad, pernil, moro de guandules, pastelon de platano maduro, ensalada de coditos, potatoes au gratin,  it was all very delicious...I have to say my family was very pleased. Hope your noche buena was as good as mine :)

Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas is around the corner....a little different for us this year....my family and I usually go to my sisters for Christmas or have people over but this year since my mom is still in the healing process I've decided to  make dinner at my home. Nobody is really coming over because my sister's are all going to their moms house. So, its just my mom, dad , lil Andrew, and my older brother Chris. I'm very excited to be cooking, I've never done the whole "noche buena" shabang myelf and this will be my first time cooking a pernil in general. My mom's gets easily  fatigued now so she will help and give me some instructions but I'm doing the majority of the cooking lol. We'll see how it turns out....and hey I'm not that bad, I'm sure it will be great lol. Anyway here is a picture of my mom and little brother decorating the Christmas tree. I used a picture app on my phone and I think it came out so cool!!  Happy Holidays Everyone!!

Merry Christmas!!!

it's not that serious.

so I'm 26
not married
not engaged
not pregnant
why is that such a bad thing?
Everybody is like oh you need to find someone soon!!!
What's the obsession...??
I get lonely sometimes...I do but
I'd like to think I have some time.....yea who doesn't want someone to love...someone to love them back.
I just haven't met that person yet
so.....back off. sheeshhhh.

some time.

So...my mom's surgery went well...thank you JESUS....she's home and resting, very fatigued but doing well. We have to go back in 6 weeks for another procedure but so far so good. I'm so relieved and so happy that she is back home. Final also went well...finished by third semester of Nursing school with a B- which in Nursing school is amazing. I'm proud of myself and I'm very happy for the blessings I've had these passed couple of months. In the words of my clinical instructor "Santa is looking out for you this Christmas." Today has been the first day in a longgg time since I've actually gotten to relax and have some time for myself. It was an overwhelming couple of weeks and I have to say I almost thought I wouldn't make it through this final. I've been so exhausted that when I got my final grade I didn't even have a reaction. I was kind of like ok back to bed lol. Then later onnnn I was like holy shit its time to celebrate lol.
I've been taking care of my mom since the surgery. Can you believe, the hightlight of my week was making her chicken soup? lol and it actually came out pretty damn good. She had a smile from ear to ear when she saw me walk into her room with a bowl of homeade soup in my hand. She ate everysingle spoon of it. It was an awesome feeling. Its the best feeling when you can take care of someone who has done so much for you. I love her. She is seriously the mac to my cheese. I'm so happy she is home...so happy she is safe...and so happy she finally got this damn procedure done.

I have some time off now...time I really needed. I have some time with her and dad..and my family. Some time I'm going to enjoy the fullest.

can't wait to get to a road with a little less bumps.

in a scary place right now. I've had...the most difficult time the passed couple of months.  I've always had some reason to complain about my life...always felt incredibly pained, angry, depressed about one thing or another.  as I look back, I find myself wanting to bang my head against a table...for all those times I've cried about shit that didn't matter...got angry about shit that wasn't worth it.  As you all know my mom has two aneurysms and making sure that she is ok...making sure I get her to her appointments...making sure she has the right insurance has been my priority. & let me tell you it has been and incredibly bumpy road. I remember sitting down at the dining room table crying histerically to the woman on the phone while she told me for the 100th stime  that my mom was still not eligible for any type of health insurance...and Im thinking what do I do Lord? What do I have to do to get her insurance because I'm so scared that if we don't get this resolved soon my mom is going to die. We don't have 40,000 dollars for this surgery and believe it or not a hospital WILL deny you care if you can't pay..BELIEVE ME.  Every person I spoke to shut me down. So...for the past 4 months I've been  talking to whoever at whereever in order to get this shit resolved & after changing the surgery date many times..after speaking and going to all these different places.. I finally did. Her surgery is next week.(the day before my 210 nursing final btw) I've never been more exhausted. I've never been more scared. I've never thought this much about death...and I never really thought about the day my mom would no longer be here. Lately...... it seems to be  all I think about.

Dear Libra,

My horoscope today. " You will do well today if you can avoid giving in to negative comments from people who don't really matter in your life. You are on a path now to make your future a wonderful place, and along the way you will encounter certain pessimistic or antagonistic people who will do their best to bring you down. But it's up to you allow negative energy to affect you. The best force field to erect for such situations is simply your own positive attitude. Keep smiling, keep thinking beautiful and hopeful thoughts, and you will deflect anything that could potentially damage your inner harmony. "

I learned today...or I shall say RE-learned, that people never change. not ever. & like many times before I ask myself yet again. When will I ever learn...and let go.

I'm working on it.
Don't know how much time it will take but I will get there.

I strayed from writing because I didn't want to write about my problems, but sometimes all I have is write. Writing is my friend, writing never judges...writing just lets me be.  There's always a pen and paper when no one else is there.